It’s been over a year since you’ve last heard from me. That’s a long time to go without keeping contact with you. I don’t mean my silly page posts or blogs, Instagram pictures, and posts on Facebook. I mean keeping contact by sharing more of the stories piling up in my head. The books I write. The pages you’ve read and the characters you’ve come to care about.
So, I’m writing this to tell you I’m sorry that I’ve been so quiet. And, to tell you why.
You’ve allowed me in a sense—Charlotte, Aydin, Lucius, Jess, and Liam— to occupy your time. You’ve sent me messages, emails—little notes of encouragement with each one—reminding me why I love to write, and thanking me (THANKING ME!) for sharing these characters with you. Asking me when I’ll deliver more, and today I have finally decided I’ll share more with you. Though, not what you expect. Today I’ll tell you the reason why my stories remain untold and your Kindles vacant of new books.
A while back I wrote a blog post about a major life event that has left me behind on my current work. It was a vague post because I didn’t want to share. It felt too personal.
Too personal. I know…
Here you’ve cried over my stories, felt rage, and I was worried about getting personal!
But, you beautiful people, you deserve personal. I’m not the only woman who’s experienced this type of trauma. I’m not the only one who’s had too much pride, refusing to talk about their life and problems out of sheer stubbornness and fear of being shamed.
So here it is.
Just over a year ago, I woke up to what I thought was an ordinary day only to discover I was no longer married. No, he didn’t pass away……. and I’m sorry to those of you who’ve endured such a horrific tragedy.
After devoting my entire adult life to being a wife and mom, I was suddenly a single mother, with no job, no education (no I never went to school), and the life I thought I was living turned out to be a complete lie. It was a week before Four Days was released, and I already had the first chapter for In the Shadow of Demons finished, but when the floor falls out from under you, there is nothing to grab hold of. Not even something you worked so hard to achieve.
Like, say… My books.
Expecting something more? People get divorced all the time, right? Here in the US over half of marriages end in divorce. I mean, it could be worse… And, you’re right. It could. It was, with a hell of a lot more to it. An entire year + worth of it, but I’ll spare you the details.
In short, my little life fell apart and left me with writer’s block. Mental block. A concrete block wall separating me and the characters I created. Everyone stopped talking to me. Aydin, Jess, Liam. Utter silence. Honestly, I’m not sure if I was capable of listening for a long time.
Thankfully, bits and pieces are coming together, but I won’t commit to a release date yet. I assure you, as soon as I know, you’ll be the first I contact. Those signed copies you amazing readers won? I’m working on it. I truly am….
Was this too personal? Seem small? Probably yes to both of those questions. Yet, none of it feels small. I’m sure some of you reading this can relate to the devastation. Actually, I know you can. I’ve seen your posts, read your blogs, lived the nightmare that is your reality. It’s mine now too.
That is why I share with you all today and ask for a bit more patience. The stories are there. The books are coming. Pages get typed. Erased, then typed again. So please, dear readers, bear with me. The words will appear and be in your hands in due time.
Best Wishes and Happy Reading,